Free Beer, Scams, Schemes and All Round Fun

In England, beer is far too expensive all alcoholic drinks are, in fact, they're too expensive in most of the countries I've traveled too. Luckily, there are ways around these expenses, and as long as you're out with some like minded friends, you can have many night of free/cheap. Just follow these instructions.
Unless otherwise stated, these are all devised by me. They work best at festivals and sporting events, when the bar is really busy, but feel free to try anywhere, I certainly have.

1. Water-Logged

This was the first one I came up with. It works especially well at large events like stadium/arena shows and sporting events where they mass pour beers in advance since they know they'll be serving a lot.
For this one, you will need some beer to begin with, not very much, say three inches in the bottom of your cup, less if the cup isn't see through. To acquire this, you can either buy one beer, and drink most of it, or you can find some leftovers and use that. Once you have a small amount of beer in the bottom of your cup, all you need to do is fill it up mostly to the top with water, enough so it looks like beer, and it looks like you've drank some. Take this to the bar, and be as friendly as possible. Explain that you hate complaining, but you have too, you're beer is flat and you can barely drink it. If it's a big show, since they pour so many, it's common place for the beer to go flat and 9 times out of 10 they'll immediately replace it, or speak briefly to the manager who will signal for it to be replaced. The only time this nearly didn't work for me was when I was already drunk and didn't put fill my beer enough, so they said i'd drank too much already (he did eventually agree to replace it). The beauty of this is, you can use it again and again, as once you've used it once. you've got your beer supply and can keep getting it replaced. At the Alexandra palace, I did it 6 times in a row at different bars. The only drawback? you'll realize if you finish your beer, you'll have to pay for the next one, so you;ll drink yourself into the dust... This is my personal favorite, and gets me through festivals regularly.

2. Can-Do? Can-Did

This one is a version of the one above, i designed for bars where they only have cans, and it's beautiful in it's Machiavellianism, if i do say so myself. This scam involves switching drinks occasionally. Since a drink in a can won't be flat, you apply the same principle. Water the end of your drink and take it back to the bar, but this time, explain that you didn't order beer, but cider. They will quickly and apologetically replace your can of water for a lovely cold can of cider and you can be one your way. Rinse and repeat, but get yourself a beer. If you want to be really ballsy, just take a can from the bin, fill it with water, and take it to the bar to exchange for whatever you like in a different can, there's more chance they'll notice, but not likely when they're mad busy.

3. Hit-For-Six

This is a favorite of mine, and actually devised by a friend, as a variation on number one. This works solely at festivals, but It's absolute perfection if you ask me. At Glastonbury, and I'm sure many other festivals, if somebody orders 6 beers, they put them in a cardboard box with a handle. This is a scammers wet dream, due to it's easily breakable nature. For this, you won't need to buy anything. Go to the bin, and find one of these boxes, and 6 cups to go with it, suitably damage the box, then approach the bar. Tell the staff there that the box must have been broken when they gave it too you, as it broke the rest of the way, and all 6 of your freshly poured beers spilled on the ground. nine times out of ten, the friendly, over-worked bar staff will gladly replace your spilled beers, all six of them.

There's plenty more scams I use, but these are all the alcohol related ones I can think of right now. Eat drink and be merry friends, as all of these little tricks are a sure path to hell ;)

Everything written in this post is purely fictional, I've never actually done any of this stuff. You can't use it for entry in the Guinness book of world records (Guinness probably hate me anyway for all the free beer) and you certainly cant use it as grounds for prosecution. 

If you're  lawyer or law enforcement, you can stop reading now... 

for the rest of us, imagine a world where none of this disclaimer bullshit is necessary

The American Haiku

See Haikus
"The American Haiku is not exactly the Japanese
Haiku. The Japanese Haiku is strictly disciplined
to seventeen syllables but since the language
structure is different I don't think American
Haikus (short three-line poems intended to be
completely packed with Void of Whole) should worry
about syllables because American speech is
something again...bursting to pop.

Above all, a Haiku must be very simple and free
of all poetic trickery and make a little picture
and yet be as airy and graceful as a Vivaldi
Pastorella."

Jack Kerouac

Mine

Waking early
Shaking cold
Raindrops patter the tarp

Wanting wine
Stumbling
In the evening mist

Far from home 
Thumb out 
Thousands of miles

11 hours or more
Long road 
Again tomorrow

A guitar, a tent
That's life 
Wine?

The road 
That's life
Wine? 

Singing to the 
Thunderstorm 
Break the clouds 

Misty morning 
Byron Bay 
Let the clouds part

Bubbling dhal 
Roaring fire 
Starry sky

Long Beach 
Smoking Under
the dying wine-sun

Canberra to Byron.

After spending some time in Sydney, I hitched a ride to Canberra. It was a great ride, and easy, but I'm not going to write about my time there. I spent a really lovely week or so with a good friend of mine and her family. After so long in asia, it was lvoely to stay in a house, eat home cooked food, drink good coffee and just hang out, but It's not so interesting to read.
The morning I left Canberra, my friend was driving with her Mum to Sydney to look at apartments. I decided to hitch hike to Byron Bay, which was 11 hours away by car. Luckily they where leaving early. We got out the door at 6.30 am, and by 8.30 I was dropped at a service station just before sydney. With my Hitch Hiking experience from other countries, I thought I'd be on the road for a couple of days to make Byron, but how wrong I was. I waited about 45 minutes at the service station for a ride, and finally was picked up by a guy in his forties. He was friendly enough, but quiet. He said he could take me about 4 hours down the road. In the end i'd have 4 rides, and make it to Byron just after dark. Other than the first ride, I never waited more than 30 minutes. What I realised about Australia, is that because everything so far apart, people are generally driving further than in Europe. As I'm writing this I've been hitching in Australia for a year, and a three hour ride is fairly standard.
It was a wonderful, mad day, some amazing people, really fast driving, and barely any waiting. Still one of my best days of hitch hiking :)
When I arrived in Byron, My ride dropped me right by the freeway. I had to walk across the road. I walked up the freeway and found a roundabout with a sign to Byron Bay. I stuck my thumb out, and the very first car stopped for me. I immediately had a good feeling about this place, only a few times in my life I've been picked up so quickly.
I was planning to find a free place to camp, but I was tired, and i'd heard they were really strict in Byron, so when my ride offered to take me to a paid campsite I agreed. When I got there it was only 15 for a night, so I paid and set up my tent.
I was happy to have a cheap and secure place to sleep. I left my things and walked into the town.
It was a great day of hitching. It gave me really good hope for Australia in the future. I'll talk of my time in Byron in another detailed post.
Safe travels

Vagabonding Sydney

It's been far too long since I posted anything on this blog, but hell, I've got to start again somewhere. It was nearly a year ago now that I passed through Sydney, but I'm going to outline how I got by whilst I was there.
When i first arrived, I'd just finished 2 months in Asia. I didn't busk there very much at all aside from a stint in Bangkok, and I'd been staying in hostels travelling a very well trodden path. Coming to Australia, I knew, with the price of things, I'd have to get back to my old vagabonding ways. It didn't start too well, I arrived with a friend of mine and we went to check into a hostel. At $38 a night it was extortionate, so I only booked in for 2 nights, and figured I'd find myself something better for myself.
Sydney is a pretty easy place to get by for next to nothing for the astute wanderer. For a couple of days I wandered the city with my heavy pack, looking for good busking spots. In the evenings, I would take a bus to Coogee Beach and set up my tent among the trees and sand dunes. It was hardly ideal. I had nowhere to leave my things and could usually hear the music from the nearby bars as I tried to sleep in the evening.
Luckily, on about my fourth day, I found a great place to stay. It was completely by chance. I went to visit a couple about the possibility of sailing with them to Tasmania. They wanted more money than I could afford, but they where anchored off of a beach that I noticed straight away as a great place to sleep. That night  Set up my tent on the beach. It was a lovely place. I could see the lights of the city and the Sydney harbour bridge sprawling out before me. I had a fire there and laid out next to it with a bottle of wine. As it got dark, i used the light of the fire to read from a battered copy of Dharma Bums by Kerouac.
The beach is really easy to find. All you have to do is take the train to wollstonecraft station, once you get off the train and walk out of the station, directly opposite is a road going down hill. At the bottom of this hill is the sea, and to your left is a lovely secluded beach. I camped there in total for nearly two weeks. In the day I'd leave my pack, without my valuables, in the tent as I went into the city. Nobody disturbed anything the whole time I was there. I'd have a fire every evening to cook and warm myself by. Nearby is a public bathroom, there's also a water point and free public BBQs.
Once I'd found this beach I started to explore more of Sydney. I'd spend my mornings sight seeing and looking for good busking spots. My favorite busking spot in Sydney is a popular one, but for the right reasons. I like to play in the tunnel under central station. You're supposed to have a license, but nobody ever bothers to check there. It' s easy to make some good money here. I'd usually just play until I had enough for some dinner and a bottle of wine. There's usually three people playing in the tunnel, so it's better not to be the one in the middle. There are probably better spots in the city, but this is the one I settled on.
 In retrospect there's a lot of Sydney I didn't see. I found out later that there's a branch of Lentil as anything in Newtown, which is a restaurant working on a pay as you feel model. Since it's donation based, it's good when you're struggling. I eventually discovered it in Melbourne, the food is all vegetarian and all delicious :)
It's a long time since I was in Sydney, so I'm struggling to remember everything about my time there but here's some stuff the avid hobo should know when passing through.
Need a free feed? Seven11 bins can be awesome. You can always find Krispy Kreme donuts, salad, sandwiches and Iced coffee in the evenings. There have been times I'd had so much food I had to take it round to all the homeless and had it out because there was more than I could ever finish. This actually applies to all australia. Seven11 throw out heaps of edible food.
Arrive late in the centre with nowhere to go? central station is open the whole night. Lots of people use it as a free hotel. You can bed down there in a sleeping bag and nobody is likely to bother you until about 7 am. I've slept there a couple of times. There's cameras everywhere so I feel pretty same. I've never had any trouble sleeping there. Another option, I've noticed the police turn a blind eye to homeless people putting up tents in many of the cities parks. Especially the one next to central station but I can't remember the name. I didn't do it since I was a little nervous of the amount of drunk people sleeping there and the potential for trouble. By that time I'd found my beach and I was happy.
I identified some otehr good places to busk. If you get the liscense, there's plenty of places in the centre where you'll be moved on without one. also, I like the park next to the quantas arena near china town. You need a license but I usually managed over an hour and would make 40 to 60 bucks.
All in all, Sydney is an easy place to live like this, but not a fun one. I was looking for work whilst I was there but quickly gave up and left.
Need to get out? i used hitch wiki and got a ride in no time :) http://hitchwiki.org/en/Sydney